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Jokes about Computers - 1

Here is our selection of jokes about computer programmers and users.
This is page 1 of 2.

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Why was the computer feeling cold?
It left its Windows open.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Christmas.
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Programming Department: Mistake made while you wait.
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How many Computer Programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Sorry, that's a hardware problem.
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Algorithm: A catchy 1930's song by George and Ira Gershwin.
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Nanosecond: The time it takes after your warranty expires for your hard disk to start making a sound like a monkey wrench in a blender.
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A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys.
"The one to the left costs $500," says the storeowner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told that "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $5000," answers the storeowner.
"$5000!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."
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Old computer hackers never die, they just go to bits.
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Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.

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