Here is our selection of jokes about psychiatrists.
A psychiatrist is someone who asks a lot of expensive questions that your wife asks for free.
A man goes to his psychiatrist and explains that on Monday through Thursday he
feels like a TeePee and on Friday through Sunday he feels like a Wigwam.
The
psychiatrist explains, "Your problem is obvious, you're two tents."
A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and suprise them when they least expect it."
As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans."
Psychiatrist: So what's your problem?
Patient: I prefer patterned socks to plain socks.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer patterned socks to plain socks. I do myself.
Patient: So how do you like yours - fried or boiled?
A tortoise went to visit a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist asked, "What can I do for you?"
"My problem is that I'm very shy," replied the tortoise.
"The psychiatrist said, "that's easily cured, I'll soon have you out of your shell."
Why did the psychiatrist make his wife sleep under their bed?
Because she was potty.