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Police Jokes - 2

Here is our selection of jokes about the police.
This is page 2 of 3.

A team of detectives arrived at the business executive's New York penthouse apartment and were admitted by the butler.
"Mr. Wilson," one told the businessman, "we have some good news and some bad news about your missing wife."
"You'd better give me the bad news first," said Mr. Wilson.
"We found your wife floating face down in the East River this afternoon with eight large lobsters clinging to her body."
"Oh, my poor wife," the man sighed, "What's the good news?"
"We're sending her back out in the morning."
A man in jail for a robbery was visited by his wife. "This is the time of year I'd be planting potatoes in the back garden," he said. "Well, I have no time to dig up the garden," replied his wife. "Don't you worry about that," he said. All you'll have to do is plant them just wait and see." After she had gone, he wrote her a letter: "Dear Mary, There is some stuff buried in the back garden that should be passed on to the boys. Can you see to it for me? Love, Michael."
The following day, a group of policemen descended on the back garden with spades, dug it all over, found nothing, and went away.
The day after that, she planted the potatoes.
How many police officers does it take to break an egg?
None, it "fell down the stairs".
The officer reported to the watch commander about having no luck with the witness. "Did you browbeat him, yell at him, and ask him every question you could come up with?" asked the watch commander.
"We certainly did."
"And he said, 'Yes, dear, you're right,' and dozed off!"
How do you join the police force?
Handcuff them together.
What do you say to a policeman who has spent eight hours on the Internet?
Oh give it arrest will you.
Did you hear about the detective who was thrown out of the Serious Crime Squad - he was always laughing.
What did the policeman say to the man with three heads?
Hello, hello, hello - what's going on here?
What do you call a crow that joins the police force?
A rookie.
Did you hear about what happened when the police caught a man stealing car batteries?
They charged him.

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